Montville

We've now reached a new county - Morris county - and the end of our journey. Right after the town line, Bloomfield Ave. splits off into Route 46 and Route 159. Thank God there's a picnic table at the Home Depot right at this intersection. I need a place to sit down while I wait for someone to pick me up ...

Fairfield

I've never been this far on Bloomfield Ave., not even in a car. It's starting to look less like an interesting street and more like a highway - car dealerships on either side, a grassy median, and no real sidewalk. I'm starting to wonder if this road ever comes to an end.


There was one sort of interesting thing - Uptown Country Furniture and Accessories, at 1221. The store itself wasn't unusual, but the buildings were very odd and not something you'd expect to see on Bloomfield Ave. The main building looks like a wooden farmhouse, and out back are two stables, or something, with a dusty gravel driove. Everything looks old and weathered, like something transplanted from an old western movie set. I expect a horse to come trotting out from somewhere. What is this doing here? And what the heck is "uptown country" - isn't that an oxymoron?

Another diner - the Cutting Board Deli and Grill, at 1275. Hey, I like diners, and you kind of have to stretch to find something interesting here.

And finally, the mighty Passaic River. Mighty is a joke. The river itself is kind of a joke, because it's so dirty, from New York City dumping its sewage in it during the 19th century, that the only people who get near it are professional rowers.

West Caldwell

I used to work at an ice cream store in West Caldwell, and one day a woman tried to bring her toy poodle into the store with her. That's the kind of town West Caldwell is.

There's a historical marker planted in the parking lot outside #687. I always wondered what could be so significant about a parking lot in West Caldwell. Apparently, it was the site of store that was opened in 1798 and was razed in 1968. Definitely something to check out for all of you interested in the minutiae of New Jersey history.

And speaking of parking lots, here's another one, the one owned by Panera Bread, #804. This is not a historical parking lot, at least not for most people. For me it is - I got my first kiss in this parking lot. I could probably even tell you which parking space I was standing in.

Caldwell

There was an old red MG convertible parked outside C&G Auto Tech, #57 - very nice. I was tempted to jump in the front seat and patch out with it.

Did you know that Grover Cleveland was born in Caldwell? Yes, the man who managed to be both the 22nd and 24th president was born right on Bloomfield Ave! There's a small museum inside that you can peruse. I think my dad brought me here when I was very young, and I don't remember much about it.

Another diner - the Caldwell Diner, at 332. It looks interesting probably because it's so small and simple, very much out of place among downtown Caldwell's boutiques and mega stores.

Essex Fells

Essex Fells is a lot like Glen Ridge, but with an older demographic. It also takes up only a block on one side of Bloomfield Ave., between Chestnut Rd. and Fells Rd., so there was nothing even remotely interesting to see. Nothing to take a picture of, even.

Verona

Fair Verona is where we next lay our scene.

Amazing Hot Dog, at 148A, looks interesting. It serves 12 different kinds of hot dogs, plus other grill items, but since I don't like hot dogs I don't go in.

Apparently there are such things as bartending schools, and Verona plays host to one called Mix 'Em Up.

Verona park is a nice place with a bunch of walking paths. In the summer, you can rent a paddle boat and go out on the pond.

I wasn't originally intending to stop at Di Paolo Bakery, #695, but the wonderful smell assaulted me from a block away. I had to go in. Inside is wall-to-wall desserts, including a huge selection of Italian pastries, which I hate but everyone else in New Jersey seems to like. I got a chocolate-frosted donut and a bottle of water for $1.60. This place totally seduces you.

This building always looked so interesting - it's painted baby blue and shaped like a wedge. I found out that it's called the Flatiron Building.

Montclair

Bloomfield Ave. in Montclair is becoming a battleground. Montclair is trying so hard to create a sophisticated, hipster inamge of itself that it's actively trying to push undesirable businesses - tattoo parlors, car dealerships, 99 cent stores - off Bloomfield Ave., in favor of upscale restaurants and boutiques.

There's nothing quite like Bloomfield Ave. Montclair, although I may be prejudiced because this is my hometwon. There's about a million hair salons, and we're known for having restaurants of all different ethnicities. I found Chinese, Jamaican, Guyanese, Chinese, Indian, West Indian, Thai, Japanese, Cuban, Italian, Ethiopian, French, Moroccan, Turkish and Soul Food restaurants.

Dressing for Pleasure, #220, was one of the most controversial stores to open in Montclair, and I'm sure the town would be glad to see it go. It's a pretty kinky sex shop which, as was explained to me in detail, has separate rooms for clothes, shoes and toys. Notable items include chain mail vests, studded bras, and crotch-high boots. My favorite was a personal stocks and pillory, like they used to hold criminals in public in colonial times.

The Bloomfield Ave. Cafe and Stage, #347, is one of my favorite places in town. It's a dilapidated little underground place that provides a substance and alcohol-free place for struggling rock bands to perform. My friend played here a few times with her band, PointFive, on the same stage where The Academy Is ... appeared in the summer 0f 2005 (to put this in perspective, The Academy Is ... is being championed by MTV darling Pete Wentz, of Fall Out Boy). Above it is Park Billiards. These two places are also under siege from the township.

The London Food Company is another fun place, mostly because you've never heard of the stuff they sell inside. It's stocked with British food staples, like scone mix and clotted cream, and all sorts of unusual brands and things you would never think to eat.

I was drawn to Cisco Station, #461, because of the cute architecture. It has a lot of nice clothes inside, but they're all overpriced - $136 fo a shirt?! Thnaks, but no thanks.

Prima, on the other hand, is a good choice - cute and reasonably priced. They have a large selection of 60s style concert t-shirts for $12. I picked up a long sequined skirt for $9 on the outside sale rack, and I would definitely go there again.

I can't forget Powerhouse Tattoo, #545, where I got my own little tramp stamp done. The own's trying to close this down, too.

My friends and I used to go to the Soda Pop Shop, at 558, all the time when we were in high school, because it's a really. It's an ice cream parlor, with some diner food, decorated like a 50s restaurant. In the frot display windows and on the walls are old toys and games, and on Friday nights the games come out for the customers to play with.

There's even a tiny little mosque in an old house, but I couldn't make out its name.

The Montclair Art Museum, at the corner of Bloomfield and South Mountain, is small but has a nice collection. In the spring they sometimes put a croquet course out on the front lawn, complete with statues of characters from "Alice's Adevntures in Wonderland".

At the western edge of Montclair is Graz Park. It's only a block long, and I've never seen anyone in it, but it has a cute gazebo. I'm thinking it's named after Montclair's sister city, Graz, Austria.